What's the closest you can get to the black hole of darkness that is the music of STFU? A black t-shirt with black text on it. You know you want it. It even says FML on the sleeve because seriously, fuck my life.
 
And if you're one of those peope who needs all the specs on a thing, it's 100% combed and ring-spun cotton, which a pinch of polyester. It's pre-shrunk. side-seamed, and has the most shoulder-to-shoulder taping you've ever seen, or so we're told.